So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
