just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
