she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
