the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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