Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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