I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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