her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
