i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
