I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
