I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
