There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
