Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
