She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
