If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
