What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
