when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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