I puked a lego.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
