We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
