His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
