hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm like, not good at living.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
