Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
