Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
