that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
either way he was missing a nipple.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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