No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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