That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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