Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
