Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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