I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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