hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
