Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
