You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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