i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my sisters under your porch take her home
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
