hotel room ftw
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
