Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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