Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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