Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
