I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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