its not stalking. its research.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
