His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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