You really coming over, don't trick.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
