I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
