do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
