we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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