Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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