Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Found the puke drawer
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
