thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
