I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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