You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
