Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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