wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
